the imperfect perfectionist

*me *
Yanee
05/01
On my stereo: Justin Timberlake's Summer Love
Mood: Erratic

"Aye"
indie rock, alternative, pop rock: smiles: hugs and kisses: soccer: chocolates: Nike: teddy bears: touch rugby: babies: rock-climbing and bouldering: soft and pantene-smelling hair: my well-worn Levi's: Adidas: white, blue: short nice hair: Elmo, Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster:

"Nay"
veggies: swallowing pills: high heels: skirts: not knowing what to do: mess:

*wishlist *

a bit more freedom
PSP
new laptop
more clothes, for goodness sake!
new phone
an orange scrambler
makeover my room

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Well, at exactly 1:46pm tomorrow; Thursday, 5th of January, I'm officially gonna be a year older.

Hopefully with that added one year, i'll be more mature and smarter in any matter possible than i am now.

Really, when people said that i'm mature, i disagree. I will consider myself mature only when and if i say myself that i am mature. Until then, i'll take what other peeps say about my maturity with a pinch of salt.

It's been a tough year...Well, probably tougher going a month ago but i'm gonna forget and move on hopefully.

But...

I think I've been saying that to really pyscho myself into thinking that i can and will forget about some people but frankly, it's not working.

Perhaps, i'm looking at all this in the wrong light.

Perhaps, i should ask and question about everything i need to know.

Perhaps, i should decide on what i should do after i know the problem.

Perhaps, i should take it as a well-planned joke.

Perhaps, i'm overreacting about all this but then if i am, wouldn't it goes to show that i really am in love with that someone???

That i'm willing to put things on the line for the sake of us?

That i can't really forget about us?

Ahhh...Crap.

This is all wrong.

This is called hoping is it not?

And what have i said about hoping...

It'll always hurt if you're not the one giving hope.

It'll always hurt if you hope for something soooo much, but you don't get what you hope for.

It'll always hurt if that something/someone you hope for is so "hopeable" but it won't come true.
It'll always hurt if you don't know what hit you. From the front.

It will definitely always hurt if what you're hoping comes from...

You.

*You know who you are i'm sure*

So...What i'm hoping for kinda qualifies everything stated above.

Therefore, i can safely say that i will be hurt top, bottom, left, right and center should i even bother to hope.

Hopeless i tell you. Hopeless.

-----------------------------------------------------------
<~ perfected ~>
@ |9:50 AM|

Comments: Post a Comment