the imperfect perfectionist

*me *
Yanee
05/01
On my stereo: Justin Timberlake's Summer Love
Mood: Erratic

"Aye"
indie rock, alternative, pop rock: smiles: hugs and kisses: soccer: chocolates: Nike: teddy bears: touch rugby: babies: rock-climbing and bouldering: soft and pantene-smelling hair: my well-worn Levi's: Adidas: white, blue: short nice hair: Elmo, Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster:

"Nay"
veggies: swallowing pills: high heels: skirts: not knowing what to do: mess:

*wishlist *

a bit more freedom
PSP
new laptop
more clothes, for goodness sake!
new phone
an orange scrambler
makeover my room

Sunday, January 15, 2006

It feels weird to actually be at home now, on a Saturday afternoon, alone with Pijul watching Mr Bean.

I think if everything was like before, i would be having fun with you outside, deciding where to go and what to do next, right now.

Well, its not lyk before and frankly, i don't know what's going on now.

You don't answer my calls, my messages, my emails.

Yes. i know you're busy.

So busy that you can't stop for a minute to actually bother to message me.

Oh...its ok if you don't call. I already got used to not talking to you.

Sometimes, i even wonder if you're really busy.

But giving the benefit of the doubt, I shall pretend that you are k?

But really, what I wanna know is that...Are you free enough for your other girl?

I bet you are, right?

Just last week, i thot you said we would meet.

I called and messaged from morning till afternoon.

But as usual, u never bother to get back to me la.

I'll just forget about that la eh.

I think about it, make me more piss.

So when i did get a reply, waaah...conveniently, you replied you're with her.

I don't mind that you're with her.

I mean, go ahead. I know you want her.

Well, at least more than me of course.

But what nags is that you didn't have the decency to tell me that you're meeting her first.

Fark la.

You think i'm a toy you can play with issit?

Yes. I'm really angry right now.

I know over what.

But i don't know at who.

Me or you?

Me for perhaps being too naive, too foolish, too stupid, too hopeful, too dependent, too loving.

You for perhaps being too ignorant, too hurtful, too smart, too nice, too resilient, too ignorant...oh wait, I already said that.

But i think you know me well enough that as pissed as i can and will get now, I'll simmer down soon...Depending on the circumstances.

I know i won't sound and seem pissed whenever i try to talk to you.
That's cos i really dunno how to be angry at you when we talk.

Guess i lost every once of self-respect and self-dignity the moment i met u.

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<~ perfected ~>
@ |8:04 AM|

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