the imperfect perfectionist

*me *
Yanee
05/01
On my stereo: Justin Timberlake's Summer Love
Mood: Erratic

"Aye"
indie rock, alternative, pop rock: smiles: hugs and kisses: soccer: chocolates: Nike: teddy bears: touch rugby: babies: rock-climbing and bouldering: soft and pantene-smelling hair: my well-worn Levi's: Adidas: white, blue: short nice hair: Elmo, Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster:

"Nay"
veggies: swallowing pills: high heels: skirts: not knowing what to do: mess:

*wishlist *

a bit more freedom
PSP
new laptop
more clothes, for goodness sake!
new phone
an orange scrambler
makeover my room

Sunday, February 12, 2006

There is so much to say.

I'll make it simple and steady.

A lot has been happening.

Especially after that morning, when i told you about my dream.

I shouldn't have brought it up.

I was stupid then.

I'm still stupid now.

I find myself, wondering what's happening to me.

I know i love someone else very much so.

But why this feeling of excitement and adoration when it comes to you?

I look forward to meeting you and your smile.

I want to stop feeling this way.

Cos, somehow, i feel like i'm betraying my own feelings towards my very first love

And also for a fact that you're my friend.

I don't want something like this to come between us.

I'll lose someone so precious and trusted for 4 years.

I'm confused.

You made even more confused when you passed me your diary when i asked for it.

In it, were the sentences saying how you once liked me and how u found me interesting and stuff.

I was shocked of course.

Cos, u never did tell me anything of that sort.

I just assumed that you just accepted me as a good friend.

It's weird.

There were questions later when we asked each other the whats and whys.

"What do you mean that you felt paiseh sometimes in front of me?"

I still don't know why you feel that way.

I'm sure you'll explain.

I taught you a new word today.

Intimidated.

Perhaps?

You asked me a question too.

About that person and my reaction whenever she's being mentioned.

Alrite.

Let's settle it once and for all.

Yesh, I get jealous whenever you mention her.

How you always look forward to meeting her.

How she seemed sweet one moment but so cold the next.

I have no right to say anything about you and her.

Just enough to smile and to agree.

In truth, I find her an intriguing person.

She doesn't know she is.

I even have a feeling that she's waiting for someone to tell her who she really is.

I'm aghast that you see past the imperfections so blindly and naively.

You said that love is blind and you need people to point out to you the bad points.

I agree to that statement.

But, i also agree to my statement that i think i have my own opinions and i should also respect other's opinions too.

That is why i think the point i'm making is that whichever way you choose to take, take it and don't look back.

I have loads to say.

I think i'll be foaming at the mouth just to get everything out.

Let's leave it till the next entry.

Till then, you know where to find me.

Good Night, friend.

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<~ perfected ~>
@ |3:24 PM|

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