the imperfect perfectionist

*me *
Yanee
05/01
On my stereo: Justin Timberlake's Summer Love
Mood: Erratic

"Aye"
indie rock, alternative, pop rock: smiles: hugs and kisses: soccer: chocolates: Nike: teddy bears: touch rugby: babies: rock-climbing and bouldering: soft and pantene-smelling hair: my well-worn Levi's: Adidas: white, blue: short nice hair: Elmo, Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster:

"Nay"
veggies: swallowing pills: high heels: skirts: not knowing what to do: mess:

*wishlist *

a bit more freedom
PSP
new laptop
more clothes, for goodness sake!
new phone
an orange scrambler
makeover my room

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I had an angry day today. Ok. More like a mood swing kinda day. Cos one minute, i'll be fine and dandy, the next angry like anything. An example would be during english period and after school during chemistry remedial. I just vented my anger out on Luqman and that asshole, GW. Seriously, i can so not figure out how GW can be anymore petty, pathetic and immature than he is now. Eugh. He disgusts me.

Actually, the story is that we were supposed to be in AVA room for chem lessons but it was used for contact time. Everybody already waiting there and the relief teacher said that she could not get the chem labs open or some shit like that. So we had to go up to class again. 4 storeys up. With our bags. That means we just wasted our blardy time, sitting outside AVA and going up and down the stairs. What the fuck. So... I am already pissed off. Majorly. Then, there was some commotion between YZ and GW. Apparently, YZ saw him at Ms C, who was sitting outside the AVA too, waiting for the meeting to start, and Ms C came over to the whole grp of us and asked (rudely, i must say) what was the problem. We explained the need to find a class to use at the grnd floor since we were to have night study after chem anyways. Since she not the one going up and down the stairs with fucking heavy bags and books, she can easily say that just go up to class and go down la. Stupid la. You come take all 27 bags and books and go up for us la.

Then, i angry already right. That GW still want to argue that it wasn't his fault la. That Ms C came over to scold us. Eh u think la abit, if she calls you to ask what's wrng, u say nothing la! Why need to tell her the fucking problem?

So he was still going on about it while we walked up the stairs. I really couldn't take it anymore. So the moment, he actually opened his mouth to argue his point again, I just shouted at him with everything i was feeling, anger, disgust, hatred,

"EH SHUT THE FUCK UP LA GUAN WEN!!!"

From everybody there being noisy and kecoh, all quiet sia. Even the relief teacher who was walking right behind the class, kept her head down.

After that, i was trembling from head to toe. Same feeling i had when i knew something i have been avoiding all along. Felt like fuck. In class, the RT apologised for not being able to tell us and not get a room available. She didn't look at me, though i wanted her too. She's so unreasonable. Do both Section A and B in 1 hour? Logical not? If we didn't finish it, she said, we would have to stay back. And hello, she wanted to dismiss us at 4.30pm, when lesson is supposed to end at 3.30pm. Plus, she talks, no...nags at us while we do our work. She was standing near me and she was nagging about us not being prepared and not knowing when our O's starts. I was listening to my Ipod, but i just said out loud,

"Can you shut up abt it? It's not as if we don't know. Everybody already knows."

I was doing the paper while i said that, but i knew she looked at me and walked away after that.

HELL-O... Are you here to teach or nag? You want to nag, get married, have kids and nag at them all you want. Not here, while we're trying to finish Section A&B, all the questions, mind you, in 1 hour time, which happens to not be freaking possible, you shithead.

So... I had a very angry day. I have not felt angry in a long time. My temper was in check. I didn't swear as much as i do now. I do not look at people as though they deserved to die a slow and painful death. But now, I do. What is happening to me?

Other than that few ugly moments, when anger showed itself to my friends, i managed to smile and pretend i'm ok. Like PE. The guys and me played soccer. I missed a few sitters, assists unsuccessful shots but finally, scored the final goal. The class was also very high when some of us had brain teaser games and the rest tried solving them. It was cool. Xing also taught some of us a game and we finally used the game as a de-stresser before we left the night study sessions.
It was fun, that last bit of the day. The rest... I hope i don't have those ugly moments again. Later people scared of the monster. Who is btw, me. Wheat calls me the Monster. Why? I'm so lovable.

*Innocent look*

*Blink blink*

Always be my baby,
Yanee

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<~ perfected ~>
@ |2:01 PM|

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