the imperfect perfectionist

*me *
Yanee
05/01
On my stereo: Justin Timberlake's Summer Love
Mood: Erratic

"Aye"
indie rock, alternative, pop rock: smiles: hugs and kisses: soccer: chocolates: Nike: teddy bears: touch rugby: babies: rock-climbing and bouldering: soft and pantene-smelling hair: my well-worn Levi's: Adidas: white, blue: short nice hair: Elmo, Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster:

"Nay"
veggies: swallowing pills: high heels: skirts: not knowing what to do: mess:

*wishlist *

a bit more freedom
PSP
new laptop
more clothes, for goodness sake!
new phone
an orange scrambler
makeover my room

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I'm this close to a breakdown.

Sometimes, people do and say things which they think are best for you. They think that if a little known fact is often repeated to get it drilled into your head, you'll listen. They think that you are playing a fool when all you've been doing is the exact opposite. Sometimes, they think they know you just because they see you everyday in their class. Most of the time, they think wrong.

It really hurts and pisses me off to be told that i am not doing my best when i really am. So. My best will never be enough for some people to accept. I am trying my hardest. When i have worked my ass off to memorise, to understand, to ask and to suffer these few months, you don't come around and tell me that i fucking don't work hard enough and that i won't make it. How not to? I'll never get distinctions or better grades if imbeciles like you think that i am stupid and slow to not get everything in at once.

You're a teacher. You teach and motivate. Yes. A reality check is what everybody needs once in a while, but come on, the way you're saying it, discouraging us not from working towards a goal of getting a distinction. How was i not to say that out loud?

You said, you don't want us to want it. You want us to work for it? Hello, ever heard of the phrase, "If you want it, go get it" Some stuff you said, yeah, they make sense. But for what you said to me personally, that i can't accept.

Don't come to me after what you said and act all nice and concern. "I'm not saying that you're bad in your maths..." Then what were you freaking saying for that 10 mins to me in front of class? Fuck off. You make me sick.

I'm tired of being looked down. I'm tired of being misunderstood. I'm tired of being sick and tired. Whatever you want to say, it's up to you. All i know is that i'll be out of school after 3 months and i won't ever see you again for a loooong time. Thank God and good luck to the next batch of students under your "care".

Angry and upset little monster,
Yanee

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<~ perfected ~>
@ |1:30 PM|

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