Friday, April 06, 2007

Yesterday, i had a bad day. (Don't i always?) D and H got into trouble... with all things, laughing gas. I was with them when it happened and i feel terrible that i could have prevented anything major from happening, but all i did was nothing. Be in my position for a bit will ya?

You're the only sober one there. Two of your friends are hung up. At least one is seriously hung up la.. the other is still functional. But yeah, you could have stopped them but you don't. You feel that if that's what they really want, to "purge" themselves, you let them. Even though you know that they will get seriously hurt. But that's what they want isn't it? And if they want to learn it the hard way, then that's their shit. But another friend comes in and gives you this disapproving look, like as though you're just as bad as them cos you didn't stop them. What do you say? What do you do? HOW WOULD YOU FUCKING FEEL AT THE END OF THE DAY, KNOWING YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED YOUR FRIENDS FROM LOSING THEMSELVES, BUT YOU DIDN'T?

Does that make me a bad person? Just as bad as those people who abuse these seemingly innocent products and just as bad as them who do not know their limits?




This has got to stop. I have to stop.
Yanee

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